Am I a Helicopter Parent? Take This Quick 15-Question Quiz

by Little and Able

A Moment That Changed Everything

My daughter was three years old, climbing a wooden structure at the playground that was clearly meant for bigger kids. Every part of me wanted to run over and lift her down.

But I didn't.

I watched her grip the wood, test her footing, pause and think, then climb down on her own when she felt she'd gone high enough. She didn't need me. She needed me to stay back.

That's when it clicked for me. This is what I'd been learning since becoming a mother in Norway. Our kids can do so much more than we think, and every time we rush in to help, we take away their chance to figure things out on their own.

A Little About Me

I'm a mother to a four-year-old girl, and I also work at a Norwegian school with first and second graders. Every day I see what happens when you trust kids. They step up.

My daughter was born in Norway and we are raising her here. People call it the "Nordic way" of parenting, but here it's just normal life. Living in Norway has taught me so much about giving children space to grow and learn on their own.

My daughter dresses herself, even when it takes forever. She climbs higher than I'd like, and I let her. She walks ahead of me in the forest and picks which path to take. When she falls, I wait a moment before running over because I want to give her time to decide if she actually needs help.

This isn't me being careless. It's on purpose. Kids become capable when we let them be capable. My job isn't to remove every hard thing from her life, but to stand nearby while she learns to handle hard things herself.

What Is Helicopter Parenting?

Helicopter parenting means hovering over your kids, always ready to jump in when things get hard or risky. The term came from a book in 1969 when kids described their parents as hovering over them like helicopters.

It comes from love, of course it does. We want our kids to be safe and happy. But research shows this approach can actually backfire.

A 2018 study found that kids with overcontrolling parents had trouble managing their emotions by age five, and this continued into their preteen years. These kids showed more anxiety, lower confidence, and struggled more at school. Other studies link helicopter parenting to young adults who can't make decisions, solve problems, or bounce back from setbacks.

We want to protect them, but we might be doing the opposite.

How Nordic Parents Do It Differently

In Scandinavia we raise kids with a different mindset. We assume kids are capable and that they can handle challenges, risk, discomfort, and even failure.

You see this everywhere here. Norwegian kindergartens take kids outside for hours every day. Rain or snow, it doesn't matter. Four-year-olds use real knives to carve sticks. Six-year-olds walk to school alone. Kids serve their own food, put on their own rain gear, and sort out fights with other kids without adults stepping in.

Adults are there, but not in the middle of everything. We watch, we help when truly needed, and otherwise we trust the child to figure it out.

What happens as a result? Kids who believe in themselves because they've tested themselves. Kids who aren't scared to fail because failure is just part of learning. Kids who grow up knowing how to solve problems and handle hard things on their own.

This doesn't mean Nordic parents don't care. It's actually the opposite. It takes more patience to watch your child struggle with a zipper for five minutes than to just do it yourself. But that patience says something important: I believe you can do this.

Am I a Helicopter Parent? Take the Quiz

I made this quiz because I get it. The urge to protect our kids is strong and real. But I've seen what happens when we trust more and hover less. Kids who believe in themselves, kids who solve problems, kids who aren't afraid to try.

Be honest with yourself when you answer. There's no judgment here, just a chance to reflect.

One thing before you start: parenting is complicated and your child is unique. This quiz won't label you as good or bad. It's just a way to notice patterns you might want to look at.

Daily Routines

Do you do things for your child that they could do themselves because it's faster?
Do you pick your child's clothes for them most days?
Do you pack your child's bag instead of letting them do it?
Do you speak for your child when ordering food or talking to adults?
Do you suggest activities when your child says they're bored?

Play and Risk

Do you feel anxious when your child climbs, jumps, or takes physical risks?
Do you avoid letting your child use scissors or help in the kitchen?
Do you keep your child inside when it's raining or cold to prevent them getting sick?
Do you rush to comfort your child right after a small fall or bump?
Do you check on your child often when they're playing alone in another room?

Social Situations and Independence

Do you step in quickly when your child has a small conflict with another child?
Do you help your child with a task before they ask for help?
Do you rescue your child when they forget their lunch or a toy?
Do you stay close and watch when your child plays with other kids?
Do you feel uncomfortable letting your child walk short distances alone in your neighborhood?

A One-Week Challenge

Whatever your score, try this for seven days:

Day 1: Let your child dress themselves completely, including choosing their clothes. Say nothing about what matches or doesn't.

Day 2: When your child says "I can't," respond with "try one more time" and walk away.

Day 3: Go outside in weather you'd normally avoid. Dress appropriately and let them play.

Day 4: Let your child handle a small conflict with another child on their own. Just watch.

Day 5: Let your child help with real cooking. Stirring, pouring, or chopping soft things.

Day 6: If your child forgets something, don't rescue them. Let them deal with the consequence.

Day 7: Find one thing your child can do alone that you'd normally supervise closely.

At the end of the week, ask yourself: What did my child handle that surprised me? What was hardest for me to let go of? That's where your real work is.

One Last Thing

Helicopter parenting isn't a character flaw. It's a response to a world that constantly tells us good parents watch closely, that kids are fragile, and that danger is everywhere.

But there's another way. Trust more and control less. Let them fall and watch them get up. Believe they can do it before they've proven it, so they get the chance to prove it.

In Norway we have a saying: there's no bad weather, only bad clothing. I think it works for parenting too. There are no incapable kids, only kids who haven't had the chance yet to show what they can do.

Give your child that chance. Step back, watch, and trust.

They might just surprise you.

Did this quiz make you think? Share it with another parent who might find it useful, or leave a comment and tell me which question hit home for you.